Category Archives: family

Wisdom of the Grandmothers

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Years ago a doctor who was reading my book, As Easy as Breathing: Reclaiming Power for Healing and Transformation, came up to me at a Bethany Hospital awards dinner we were attending. He told me he read a poem a night and that his favorite was this one. Please share if this speaks to you!

Wisdom of the Grandmothers

When I last spoke
to my Grandma Dubay,
when her voice was raspy and rough,
when she would occasionally
forget to whom she was speaking,
but otherwise could carry on
a perfect conversation,

I asked her what she would do differently,
looking back from now,
and she said she would
be less worried about cleaning house
and spend more time with the kids,

for time passes quickly
and so soon they are grown and gone.
She was also a great advocate
of taking care of yourself,
getting enough rest,
letting go of stress.

She ate carefully,
exercised regularly
and had a bedtime glass of sherry.
She lived a full, long life
to ninety-three.

My Grandma Schulte
also gave that advice often:
“…take care of yourself.”
How rarely I heeded their wisdom!

This may be the meaning now
of all this breast cancer:
to make a whole season of women
who have learned to take care,
and who let go of being
the “Nurturers of All,”
but themselves.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 1996

Listen to track 13 on my CD, Full Blooming: Selections from a Poetic Journal.

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Weaving Reality with Fiction: Contemplating Healing

For almost as long as I can remember, reading has been my escape, distraction, teacher, amusement, consolation, friend, and a welcome alternate reality. When my Mom passed away in 2012, it was natural for me to seek comfort in reading. One of the books that drew me in was by Laurie R. King. This poem (from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine) came to me, weaving my real life with her fictional world, making some kind of sense from the (temporarily) numb place I was in. How about you? Any books that moved you or gave solace or understanding?

9/6/12

Reading Garment of Shadows
by Laurie R. King

I couldn’t see myself
on the other side of darkness
you lose a mother only once

what is broken cannot be fixed
what reassurance
could be offered
what meaning or strength

found in contemplating healing?
It is as if I woke with amnesia
unaware of who I am

clues all around of someone
who lived where I lived
and worked and was a friend

but who she is now
or who might know
or what road to follow…?

In the meantime…
sun rises…sun sets
the day is sunny or gray

put one foot in front of the other
the nights blending together
I dream in language I do not understand.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2012

From Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing. Print edition now on amazon.com. (Also widely available as an ebook.) Thank you for sharing!

THROWN AGAIN into the FRAZZLE MACHINE: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing

Love poem from “Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine”

Not too late for Valentine’s. It’s really the whole weekend, right?

One of the narrative threads running through my new book, Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing, is love. (The book is dedicated to my husband.) Here is a love poem written before major surgery:

11/21/13

Safe and Spooned

I am safe
lying here spooned
with my sleeping husband

who is warm
and smells slightly of cloves.
We are softly breathing

and music is playing.
Lying here under a thick duvet
it is a warm cocoon.

I am safe
pain-free
breathing easily

heart beats regularly.
When I rise
I slip back into the room

and walk effortlessly
out the door
down the hall into

my own silence.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2013

New! Print edition of Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine is now available at Amazon.com!

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Seasonal Smile: Christmas Cricket

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Shell Angel from Barbara– Photo by MDMikus Copyright 2009

In 1996, at this time of year, I had just finished chemotherapy for breast cancer. Surgery was behind me and radiation treatments were ahead. Our small family of four was trying to have a “normal’ Christmas. We put up the tree and decorations, wrapped presents for our two young kids. My husband made the traditional turkey dinner. In the flurry of activity (and some haze of chemo fog on my part) came this poem (based on a true story): To hear me read it    (Track 19 on my CD, Full Blooming)

Christmas Cricket

Just when I thought
nothing could shake me,
a cooked cricket
showed up on our Christmas turkey,

not crispy, but thoroughly well done,
black body sprawled across a browned thigh.

Awakened by the warmth of the oven
from winter hibernation
in a dark, safe place—the roaster,

it began the final journey
in ever increasing heat
and then succumbed,
at least where we could see

before taking a crunchy bite.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 1996

On my CD, Full Blooming
(Listen to poem)

From my book, As Easy as Breathing
(Eric Hoffer Award Honorable mention
in Self-help/ Spiritual)

Joy Angel from Barbara Copyright MDMikus 2009

Joy Angel from Barbara– Photo by MDMikus, Copyright 2009

 

 

Read an E-Book Week

2011 LGNB 95 smaller front coverD ebook for SmashwordsFIVE STAR REVIEW:
Margaret’s poems are always personal, yet universal, in that any sensitive reader will be able to identify with the thoughts they embody…lyrical…concise and still as elaborate as prose…. This particular anthology focuses on letting go of your children ‘when their hours are no longer woven into the fabric of your days.’ [She] not just gives voice to feelings that are often repressed, but sincerely seeks to heal. Above all this is a labor of love from a…loving mother, adorned with words from the heart and simple photographs that complement the words beautifully. I highly recommend this book…to all sensitive readers who are working on letting go in any way.
Pramod Uday, spiritual teacher from India

Yes, it’s time again to try something new. I am offering a deep discount of 75% off on my second book, Letting Go and New Beginnings: A Mother’s Poetic Journey. For the rest of this week only you can own it for only $1. Just enter code REW75 upon check out.

You can read this book on your computer, e-book readers (including Kindle and Nook), tablets, and smart phones. If you have color capacity you can view my photos in full color (or in b/w, if not). You can read a free sample before purchase. Thank you for your support!

My husband chose to read this poem at his mother’s memorial service as the “voice of the mother.”

2/24/08

After You Left

Constantly
I am watching out for you.
Even when I am not watching,
I am watching.

I cannot say why this is true
or when it began,
it feels like forever
my love.

So do me a great favor
and become…not less carefree
nor less careless,
nor even more careful,

for being full of care
is not it exactly.
Be more aware of your choices,
more in tune with your inner wisdom.

For you are wise
dear one.

And if I am selfish
and want you to stay with me
when it is clearly time to go,
forgive…

and go.
Call me when you arrive.
I will be waiting.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
Copyright 2008

For more of the story you might like: https://www.fullblooming.com/surprises-of-both-kinds/