Category Archives: grieving

James Lee Stanley at Folkstage

(St. Tim’s Coffeehouse)

It is understandable
these days and nights
to feel frustration
turn to anger, then rage
Feel grief, desperation, despair
Feel lost, helpless, depressed
anxious, hopeless, sleepless…
Which doesn’t help you.

Allow 10 minutes to wallow
a bit less or more
then do your primary job
of balancing…even on one toe.
Send out what you want to receive
what you want to give.
Breathe and breathe
feel your heart’s steady beat
miraculous.
Watch the dawn
rose tint the east horizon.
Profusion of spring daffodils bloom
and those little purple-blue, white-centered
flowers we never planted,
(I never remember their name)
but reliably they blanket the beds
bleeding into the spring grass
followed by the grape hyacinths.

We still don’t know the end of
even one story in this complexity.
We don’t know where this will lead.
We do know all this will pass
and what will we be left?
I adamantly refuse to turn into
someone I don’t like or recognize.
Don’t be pulled down
the dark path
fall off the crumbling cliff.
Or if you do, stop
brush off, choose again.
This I ask you
in the name of…

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2026

From my upcoming collection
Rippling Out From Folkstage

Remembering the First Day of Spring

Dorothy

It has come to my attention
that I have forgotten
the day of the year my sister died
even though it was the first day of spring
easy enough to remember.
And thus it passed by this year
without commemoration.
Upon reflection then
it seemed…perhaps…
necessary for survival.
How to get up out of
the dark, deep, dank well
of grief and choose
to live
without her.

Now, aware again
tears flowing again
but perhaps
more resilient now
than I was then
I can allow myself
to remember.

One thing I have to say
it may not have happened that way
an interpretive dance
from this precise distance
on this particular summer day.

I know I spoke of her sometimes
I know I cried sometimes.

I know I was recovering from
a total knee replacement
a big deal.

I know the country
has gone crazy and
the world is in disarray

the wars and starvation
the fires, droughts, storms and floods and
other diminutions of free-flowing energy.

When I asked her, nearing the end
what she was most afraid of, she said
that she would be forgotten

not knowing how deeply
and longingly and widely
she would be missed.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2025
 
From my poetic journal, 7/12/25

Listening to R. Carlos Nakai “Saguaro Sunset”

And inspired by Carney’s speech at DAVOS

The words have not been lining up
calling to me, insisting I catch them
as waves hit and waves hit
and we struggle to breathe
much less smile for minutes carefree
Who will be left at the end of this
what will be recognizable?
Why, just why?
As what was underneath is exposed
and what do we do with that?
Reveal who we are, must be
As we try to sleep
as we eat and comfort
remembering to hydrate
and breathe as deep as can
As we grieve some and resolve
to be kind. even something small
even once…then again
As we donate and write
and act as if…and wait…
for light, radiant
I am not blind to what is
I absorb as much or a bit more
And then I need an antidote
to the toxic, the tragic, the traumatic
Something to carry me through
believing in better
as a possibility
Can you imagine with me?

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2026

From my poetic journal, 1/22/26

Watching Sunset, Fish Creek, Wis., (C) 2015 MDMikus

Advice

IL Route 22, Sept. 2017, copyright MDMikus

1/22/25

Advice

Pace yourself
this is a marathon
not a sprint to the finish
Do not let in
more than you can stand
Mistakes are made
learn from them
no shame, no blame
Apologize if appropriate
forgive if you can
no point in carrying
the extra rock-sack burden
up a steep scree slope
Remember to be grateful
remember to breathe
remember to be where you are
not leaping ahead to some
potential future dark doom
however vividly envisioned.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2025

From my poetic journal.
I keep coming back to these lines as a necessary touchstone-reminder in these chaotic times. “Pace yourself…remember”…if I am getting overwhelmed.

Inspired by Tom Prasada-Rao–One More Poem

Tom Prasada-Rao, a lovely singer-songwirter and generous person, gracefully passed on a few days ago after years of cancer treatment. He made the most of his time here and was an influence on those who connected with his music and all of those he worked with. He also inspired through who he was and how he handled his cancer treatment, including me. I have loved his music for years and followed his journey to the end, with so many friends and family visiting, posting photos on Facebook for all to see. This is how you can graciously leave life here, heading into the next chapter. This is one of the poems he inspired. See link at the end for three more.

8/29/19

Face Reanimation Surgery
Tom P-R

A certain acceptance
of how things are
where you have landed
and taking another step
to where you are going
trusting information that
made its way to you
and trusting your intuition
always the future unknown
How much is envisioning
exposing a divine plan?
You wait and heal
and do what you can
All the while, on the good days
patient and loving
no matter the outcome
short or long term
What was taken, restored
not a promise guaranteed
hope, then
grist for imagination
and healing co-creation

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2019

From my upcoming collection, Rippling Out from Folkstage

Inspired by Tom Prasada-Rao