Category Archives: encouragement

How Life Changes Sometimes—the surprising backstory for “The Vision: A Fable of Our Times”

Read poem here          Listen to poem-video

In April, 25 years ago, I healed from multiple sclerosis and then left my job teaching in the Biology Department at Lake Forest College. I didn’t know where my life was going from there, but I had a wispy notion that it involved music and healing.

For 8 years I’d been singing alto in the Waukegan Concert Chorus (WCC). Our conductor was going through a rocky period and I wanted to write something to support him. I tried writing a letter, but nothing came together.

That summer, my husband and I were listening to a Chicago classical radio station and heard about a concert that night at Ravinia, a nearby popular outdoor music venue. This concert was Montserrat Caballe, a Spanish operatic soprano we had not heard before. We got two inexpensive seats on the lawn.

As it turned out, the people around us were more interested in talking than in listening to the music. Frustrated, I went and stood behind the pavilion where I could see her performing. She sang Spanish folk opera in a lighter voice and then for an encore, three classic opera arias. The hair stood up on my arms. I could feel the full power and heart connection of her singing. I thought that the healing vibration of the notes would soak into even those who were not paying attention.

At home, as I was doing my nightly stretching, getting ready for bed, words began lining up in my head, “There was a Teddy bear tall and true who sat on a throne…” The words felt very compelling, but it was late. Still, I thought, if I don’t write them down, they’ll vanish. I got up from the floor and began handwriting in a spiral notebook, several pages in all. There were gaps I left blank where I knew something was supposed to go. I worked on the piece for a week. Although I was interested in writing, I had never done anything like this before.

On a sunny Saturday morning I knew the piece—a poem—was done. My heart beating fast, I went outside and asked my husband if he would listen to it. He said poetry was not really his thing, but agreed to listen. I read it to him and later to my voice teacher, Kip Snyder, who was the vocal techniques coach for the WCC. My voice lessons were in the room next door to my conductor’s office. Kip treated my poem as if it was a normal thing that people did. And we talked about how I wanted to present the poem to my conductor.

I wanted him to hear the poem the way I had heard it. I had a boom box with a REC button, so I got a blank cassette and gave it a go. The first time through my reading was too fast, the second time was a more conversational pace, about 5 minutes long.

Since the poem is a fable, it takes place in another world. I wanted to indicate this so I tried printing it on various illustrated papers and played with fonts. I chose one with misty pine trees on the side and a kind of medieval font. I also got a Teddy bear (on sale at Kohl’s) that was very dignified with a plaid bow. And I wrote out the story of how the poem had come to be.

When I gave it all to my choral director—the poem on special paper, the cassette with my reading, the bear, and the handwritten account—I asked him to sit and listen to the recording before reading it.

It was several months before I heard back from him. He burst into my lesson one day (which had never happened before). He was very happy with the poem, etc. I was so surprised I later didn’t remember any details of what he’d said, only the feeling. It was as if a lightening bolt went from his open heart to mine. It was quite astonishing.

As it turned out, he did stay with the chorus for another couple years (including the year I had treatment for breast cancer) and he then left the WCC. Shortly after, I also left.

At the time, I thought that someone might illustrate the poem—like a children’s picture book—and with the recording, it could be sold to support the chorus. Instead, it sat in my computer for all these years. Every so often I would think of doing something with it, but nothing ever happened. Shortly after I wrote “The Vision,” I began a poetic journal, writing poems with a healing intention. With my first cancer diagnosis had come more writing and more healing. And life moved on. I continued writing and the poems became the core of my new life, with greeting cards, books, recording, a workshop series, a website….

Why bring “The Vision” back now in this strange, chaotic time? At first, I wondered if I could even find the poem. I didn’t have the word processing program to read it on my computer any more, but a written copy was in my office files and I retyped it in.

I didn’t know if I would still like it. The writing style is very different from almost all my other work. Twenty-five years of practicing writing craft and living life led me to write in quite a different voice now. But as I read the poem and got to the end, I knew I had to let it go out into this world, at this particular time, to do what healing was possible from the divisiveness and harshness of today. “…Then the world could be changed / based on love and not fear…”

Recently I asked a number of people to read “The Vision” to get their feedback and ideas. Thank you so much to Melissa, Midge, Carol, Mary, Crystal, Marie, and Carol! Your positive comments encouraged me to take the leap and let this poem go. For now, it is a blog post and poem-video. I am working on a chapbook illustrated with my photos.

So…25 years ago, with this first poem, the writing, the recording, the visual, the design of the “whole” was all laid out, as I followed my heart’s longing and healing intention. From not knowing what direction to take, with just a wisp of an idea, my new life began. Weaving these poems used all aspects of me, what I thought, read, felt, experienced, what stories I was told or my own stories, all of my life, no parts left out. And the writing could then go out and help others, my dearest wish. It all began with this one poem and following an inner prompt to write it and let it go.

We can all be of service in various ways, however large or small, during this extraordinary pandemic time. What is your role to play? What has your heart been longing to do? Tell me your story.

Read poem here              Listen to poem-video

John Flynn at Folkstage

Artist Head, M D Mikus, Copyright 2007

Tonight I was moved by a passionate, heart-opening concert by John Flynn on Folkstage (WFMT). Often we don’t know the effect we have on others, how even a kind word or smile can make a difference. We do it naturally and rarely hear that it made someone’s day, lifted their spirits, or inspired them. Here is my John Flynn story.

I first met John Flynn after the Folk Festival extravaganza hosted by Rich Warren in 2007. I volunteered to work the CD tables, selling for one of the other artists. Afterwards, I talked with singer/songwriter, Greg Greenway (who I knew). I gave him my (then) new CD, Full Blooming: Selections from a Poetic Journal. John was standing right there, wearing a stylishly tilted fedora, and said playfully, where’s my copy? As it happened, I had brought another CD with me and I gave it to him. They both asked me to sign my CD for them, as I asked them to sign theirs for me.

That night I wrote this poem of unexpectedly feeling…belonging—instead of my usual tongue-tied, feeling-on-the-outside, blushing paralysis. Thank you! I still remember and it meant a lot to me.

As you said tonight, John—challenged us all—everyday to do what good we can do in this world. Especially right now. I am telling you, so that you know, you inspired me.

9/11/07

Belonging

For Greg Greenway and John Flynn

(For some reason, or no reason,
to be read in a slight drawl)

So natural like
I was one of the guys
for 10 easy bliss minutes
as if I had always been.

No over-thinking
no shy, red face
just joking as if
this is who I am

that sweet taste
still in mouth and memory
that sweet taste
of belonging.

Not to make too much of
what was just after all
two fine singers talking to me
after a really good show.

But I have to say this
at least just once:
thank you for your songs,
for your smiles in my direction,

thank you for accepting my offering
and treating me…well…
treating me well…as if
I was just one of the guys,

the roving troubadours
who have something to say
and the heart and passion
and drive to do it.

As if…
you saw who I am
right through my skin
deep down, those bleached bones.

So natural like
I was one of the guys
for those 10 easy bliss minutes
as if I had always been.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2007

This is the first of two poems inspired by John Flynn.

Our Future, Still Being Written

6/20/18

Listening to Amelia Curran
After Hours of Reading

If this is all there is
and you have forgotten the rest
and if you cannot keep from
the seduction of despair
I understand
and
hold out a hand.
Rest a while
in the shade of favorite music
or vacation in a favorite book.
No shame in resting,
I understand
and
give permission
as for you
as for me.
And if in the barrage of news
every bit worse than the last
and tears well up and head hangs
still, I would urge you to remember
what is real,
who you are, have always been,
the long perspective.
A marathon requires pacing
replenishment, an eye on the far-off goal
as you put one foot in front of the other
as your heart beats and muscles ache
as you breathe
and breathe
and
remember.
You have trained for this:
Every challenge, hard time, tragedy, trauma
you found strength to heal and endure
and now you are called on for more.
Those faltering for now
are aided by others
who will in turn
need help.
Like geese in a “V”
stronger together, each leader in turn
falls back, resumes.
Yes, this is not what you sought
but this is what was sown,
the past playing out
but not necessarily
our future, still being written.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2018

Note: Amelia Curran is a Canadian singer-songwriter I heard of from Peter Mulvey (an incredible American singer-songwriter). Listening to music and reading is how I have been getting through some personally dark days and high anxiety.

I found this recent poem while looking for something else. Although written this past June, it was as if I had written it to encourage and support myself — and others– right now, the week of the midterm election. A reminder to breathe, to rest when needed, to help each other, to take the long view, to vote. I offer this to you in kindness, as my way of holding out a hand. Hang in there, dear ones.

November Sunset, M D Mikus, Copyright 2017

Wanting to Help But Stymied and “TB” Review

A poem from Transcending Boundaries: Inspired by Eric Whitacre and Virtual Choir
(mentioned in a new 5-star review by Corina Luna Dea–see below):

2/7/14

Wanting to Help But Stymied

After meeting Eric W.

I cannot unravel the mystery for you,
I cannot heal your harsh lessons or gentle ones,
I can only say what is true
for me, for now, that is all.

I can only set in motion and wait patient-trusting,
knowing I may never know the outcome
prepare as best I can, as a vessel follow the heart,
the energy path laid out.

Dry from rain,
bask in sun,
rejoice in cold or warm,
each feeding what is to come.

If I could tell you I would,
if time expanded and opportunity,
but like molecules in pure liquid
we bump somewhat randomly

or if not, according to some grand plan.
Bump, bounce back, bump into again.
The globe is clearly large and also infinitesimal,
we do not know what we do not know.

But I can tell you as I ascend
from the depths again,
we will know it all in the end:
There is only one of us here.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2014

Transcending Boundaries: Inspired by Eric Whitacre and Virtual Choir

A new 5-star review for Transcending Boundaries by poet, Corina Luna Dea. Thank you!

“Honored to share this beautiful poetry book by my dear poet sister Margaret Dubay Mikus. A prolific poet, through her passion for the Virtual Choir, she brings our attention to how we define boundaries and how we can transcend them through music and art.

Here it is my review on Amazon <3

Margaret creates once again a beautiful collection of poems inspired by the art that speaks to her heart. Even though this book is inspired by the author’s personal passion for music, the title, “Transcending Boundaries” speaks to a deeper need that we face as humans in times when boundaries seem to be imposed, rather than chosen on personal or collective values.

“There is only one of us here”-the author writes in her poem “Wanting to Help but Stymied-After meeting Eric W”. This is the theme that you will come across as you dive deeper into the Virtual Choir experience. “First was the word and then vibration in translation”-sacred poetry inviting us all to transcend our own boundaries and give in to what makes us feel alive. I highly recommend this book of poetry. Allow the words to take you into the Collective Virtual Choir and transcend all boundaries and labels that we are conditioned to believe as true and real.”