The costumes or masks we wear may hide or may reveal something about our true natures: How much more we have in common than we are different.
“…So many stories, voices longing
to be heard, lives to be witnessed,
searching for meaning, satisfaction, happiness…
just like all of us.”
Poem 25, “Plea for Tolerance” from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing. Listen here: https://youtu.be/O3cC9Jhz7CU
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What does it mean to be self-accepting, maybe even a smidge lighthearted about life’s journey? To quiet the inner critic and let things just be, even celebrate making it this far?
“…Every wrinkle
tells a story
of care or neglect.
Every scar a tale
of chance or choice,
guilt, healing, awareness, or regret….”
Poem 20, “From the Stars,” from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing. Listen to the entire poem here: https://youtu.be/VCVMWcqpVYQ
Are you willing to give yourself a bit more kindness, no matter all the rest? Say yes.
This poem also appeared in the literary journal, Willow Review (2013) and in Inspiring Story, in Belleruth Naparstek’s blog on www.healthjourneys.com (2009)
For more video poems from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine
I am grateful for the many gracious and generous people who came to my aid in my ongoing healing process. Some were in the medical realm. Some were family and friends, and some passed briefly through my life, perhaps delivering a few lines that gave hope or lifted me out of darkness.
It took me 9 months to assemble the poems from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine—what to leave in, what to take out, the editing, re-writing, and designing. Then, I thought of it as a “lifeboat through hard times,” poems to perhaps give voice to loss and offer comfort. Now, I mostly see all the help that came to me on the journey: the walks, music, inner guidance, books, nature, people…
My poems act as memory. This poem tells the story of a woman who helped me years ago. And refers to the previous poem about the gifts of remodeling—clearing away what is no longer serving. I am a saver. I have a hard time letting go things that once were dear to me. One way I’ve found is to take photographs, as many as I need. And then let them go. (It can also help to find a good home for certain things, as in this case.)
Listen to “Pam,” Poem 16 from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing: https://youtu.be/DfovFAC842U
Does this poem bring anyone to mind from your own life? Perhaps you were the “Pam” for someone else?
Listen to more video poems from “Frazzle”
THROWN AGAIN into the FRAZZLE MACHINE: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing
This poem was inspired by a conversation in a parking lot with my friend, Geary Davis, who said one sentence that really soaked into me. I am grateful still.
Poem #12, “Put Down the Sword of Self-Wounding,” from my book, Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing, is about a healing a particular relationship, the one with myself. Listen: https://youtu.be/wlekuqQpQ9k
5/28/09
After talking to Geary about a ritual to ease pain
Put down the sword
of self-destruction
and self-immolation,
of self-defeat, self-demolition,
and self-defacing. Stop
stabbing myself in the vulnerable gut
in remorse, guilt, grief and regret
at what I could not
control or plan or shape.
Melt that sword
into the ploughshare
that carves the furrows
into which I place
the seeds I have been holding back.
Let forgiveness
flood the field,
let love shine upon them,
let the earth be fertile and loam-rich
and bountiful harvest my just reward.
After all the lifetimes
of all the dark and light alike
let my new life
result from a conscious new choice:
to put down the sword.
No more self-blame
self-criticism or self-judging,
no more crimson shame,
no more self-harsh words,
no more self-unkindness,
no more self-disrespect,
or screaming at myself
at perceived imperfections
or unbearable failings.
Only forgiveness
to the bone of things
to the bottom and top of memory,
forgiveness heaped
on forgiveness, eaten
at a great feast of forgiveness.
And when sated,
love as dessert and
as the main course ever after.
Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2009
Does this feel at all familiar to you?
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11/9/16
Even after tonight—
the darkest star-cast night—
the sun will rise on a new morning.
What we do, each and every one
with what hand has been dealt
defines us, shapes what comes.
Even in this uncertain fog
do not succumb to despair.
We have been there before
when the worst happened
a life-threatening diagnosis
and yet…
time passed and here we are.
To be loving in the midst of this
I know it is impossible yet
I ask … and promise.
Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2016
I wrote this poem out of a need to express strong feelings, one moment before reading a thoughtful Facebook post by Joyce DiDonato (opera singer, teacher, and healer). Her language was almost exactly the same as mine (synchronicity) and I commented about that, quoting the last three lines of this new poem. Through our loving intention (via the internet) we connected with many others. Here is the entire poem, perhaps it might speak to or for you. Please share if you think it could help someone. Thank you.
Sunset As the Road Home Darkens, by MDMikus, Copyright 2016