Category Archives: women

IWWG at Brown, part 3

These are my final poems and a few pictures from the IWWG conference at Brown University in summer, 2010. (Some poems written at home just after.) The Remember the Magic conference has been going on more than thirty some years, a long time, mostly at Skidmore College. Last summer it was at Brown, this summer it will be a Yale, but smaller in scope. This is an organization in transition and like all transitions, personal or organizational, the outcome is not certain. The possibilities numerous and spacious. I am grateful for the weeks I had to go out on my own, with other women writers, and discover and be myself. The joy of creation and then coming home. What remains of all the glorious insight when I am back in the context of daily life?

8/4/10

To write on unlined paper
to color outside the lines

willing to be seen as different
not go along to fit in.

To be joyful
to carry a glass at least half-full.

To embrace change
as pure possibility, wait and see.

To practice
what I almost preach

to walk the talk
without squawking.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/5/10

For Kitt

You don’t know
what they say about you
but I do

“That Kitt Alexander,
I just love her!”
I’m not making this up

from fervent imagination.
It really happened.
Would I lie to you?

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/5/10

Lessons in Self-Care

Every day, wake up
balance consciously as best I can
stay with it
brush teeth twice, morning and night,
shower, lotion, and deodorant.
Clothes in colors that vibrate and resonate.

Water often. Food  as fuel. Walk. Listen. Smile.
There is more I’m sure,
just promise to pay attention
as best I can, as best I can.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/8/10

Post-Conference

Opportunities will arise
to gently exercise
underused muscles like
the muscle to stick up for yourself
to be assertive on your own behalf,
or the muscle to listen to inner guidance
without struggle or shyness,
or the muscle to hear the voice
that says time to rest.

Each an opportunity to practice
what you know is true.
This way you are is not the True-you,

just the collection of life choices
and circumstances up to now,
conscious or unaware,
added to what you came in with
and what you were given to work on.
And now is the chance to choose again,

begin to re-write the old story.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/8/10

Thinking of You

Time and again
I have faced the inevitable end

and thus far
it has always receded

to the indefinite future
where you still are.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/8/10

Lie Down

Lie down in the clouds above you

separate for a moment from the life you lead

float for a bit weightless

just for a moment

then drift back

light

breathe

and re-animate

wiggle bare toes, feel grass tickle

feet grounded but light on the face of earth

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/9/10

Monday Walk After Singing

Empty
Fill
Be filled

Empty
Walk to the lake
muscle kinks work out

mind stills with steps taken
See the new ivy shoots
on crumbling brick wall

Drink water
go on after intersection
Check in. Go on

Surprising how far goes
one foot in front of the other
Drink water

Turn back at the end
walking uphill now
comfortable stride

Left, right
walk with both feet
heel, toe, shoes re-tied

just right
Cut across church grass
not exactly explicitly forbidden

Drive off smiling
at workmen spreading out dirt
under very old trees

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010 

8/9/10

Someone Said

Someone said something
a small puzzle
a sliver under the skin

irritatingly hard to remove.
Why of all the kind words spoken
should these thoughtless ones remain?

Because of implication
because I want to please everyone
(including myself)

even though that is not possible—
there is no pleasing some people.
Let it go. Don’t you know.

Let it go, my sweet potato.
Talk and untangle.
Walk and calm.

Sweat and sleep and write
and bless all the teachers
who have come.

Bless and move on along.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010 

8/9/10

Home

Back home with
magic in my bones

how to sustain
in my usual domain

where it appears
nothing has changed

the demands, the constraints
the ties that bind.

How to be as I was:
most gloriously my own?

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

IWWG at BROWN, part 1

One of the good things for me last year was attending my second International Women’s Writing Guild Conference, held in 2010 at Brown University in Providence, RI. I was still recovering my resilience and stamina, but I was determined to go. I had new writer friends to see again and I gave myself permission to do whatever I wanted. I had never been in Rhode Island, I could be a new me. Each day I had inner guidance about an “assignment”: someone to talk with, or something write about. I gave my first reading at one of the nighttime open readings. I met new women. I sold my books and CD at the book fairs at the beginning and the end. I worked on a poem/photo project about doors, inspired by one sentence a teacher said at the opening. I took care of myself. And every day I followed the energy. It might mean doing an energy healing for someone I met at lunch or it might mean taking pictures or sitting in reflection on the quads. Here is about the first third of the writing from that lovely week with a few photographs.

7/31/10

Grounding in Earth and Sky

For Diane and me

How much trouble
you can get in
not listening to your own wisdom

giving away power
to make decisions
then saying…later…

I knew all along.
See now how strong you are,
no longer a beginner.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

7/31/10

For Hannelore

Reflection,
introspection,

change in direction,
some follow, some lead,

some drop out and circle back,
some stay away forever and sulk,

some are drawn in who never were,
change is a requirement for living.

Adaptation with the blowing wind,
continual evolution,

so it is for all living things
including people and organizations,

the desire to exist, to keep on.
Nourish the whole

and the courageous ones
will risk it all following the larger vision.

What is important is not each tiny detail,
but the rich and nurturing conversation.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

7/31/10

After the wise women
must come the young ones
who care, who bear the

accumulated lessons
with learning of their own
in context of their times.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

7/31/10

Adventure After Waterfire

Lost
but not lost,

knew where we were
but not how to get

where we were going
back to temporary home.

Stopped for directions at a waterside bar
on the wrong side of the river

and from two characters in the parking lot:
a right, 5 lefts, over the red bridge

and down Angell Street,
which improbably turned out to be right.

Disorienting dark
with inconstant moon as talisman!

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/1/10

Healing Lunch
After Sue

There is the linear way of things
and there is the other,
order inherent in apparent chaos

where what comes together
has invisible purpose,
and what comes to us

leads back to wholeness.
There is no separation,
energy is energy whatever the spectrum.

To allow this process to happen,
to graciously let go
the smoke, the veil, the illusion,

to be content and at ease
in this insistent skin.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/1/10

Starving for Solitude

The nothing
in which to shape
something

of my own invention
is missing
all space filled

all days overflowing
even into night
More than one

chance to choose…
otherwise.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/1/10

Choosing a Teacher

Be careful who you select
as teacher, not to swallow
everything you hear,
paying attention to your truth-sense.

Be aware of how you feel—
discomfort tells you something
not good/not bad
necessarily, but check in:

Who resonates, who is kind in assisting,
strengthening the emerging voice,
not stamping on tender shoots
barely emerged from germination.

Who would never douse the heart-fire
and disperse your dream
back to the swirling primordial mists
it trustingly came from.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/3/10

Doors (1)

What is behind Door #1
unknown

What is behind Door 2 and 3
however elegant or shabby?

And all the rest: 14, 22, 637…?
Step through

close off or circle back
and see what happens

who do I want to be
and want with me?

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/3/10

To Protect My Luminosity

and not feel guilty

to be drawn to or away from
listen and let it be

What I am here for
who I am I see:

to gaze at the stars
to stand in the sun

no more, no less
to speak and sing and be silent

to flow as colored silk on the wind
to be truth as I know it

to catch, to throw, to be kind
to lead, to follow, to be still.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/3/10

To Be

An experiment
yet untried,

quite funny really,
to be myself fully for a week

day in day out, moment to moment,
to listen and act from

inner wisdom,
to pay attention aligned

and balanced, in harmony.
To act as if I am healed

and realize it
is true…

extensive laughing is involved
and weightlessness.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/3/10

Yes, I Noticed You Being You

What can I say of friend Amy
who spoke tonight so well and courageously,

who opened arms wide, glad to see me
before I even stepped through the door.

And who generously watches out for me
and graciously accepts me.

How fine a friend is that!

Amy, who paints her sad tale so vividly
parts of it are funny,

disconcerting when she feels more the tragedy,
but she pulls us into the humanness of the story

and humor allows us to keep looking,
to keep listening to what was imaginably unbearable.

A skilled weaver, illusionist, wordsmith,
she makes me care…what happens next.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/4/10

IWWG Conference

In coming together
opportunity
to see the places
both healed and raw still

To be who we are
built on what we have chosen
to be better than
wild and playful imagination

Whoever, up to now,
you have been
or considered being
come here…and choose

and choose again.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

Often Unsung Heroes

What a pleasure reading my poem, “Mantles of Transformation,” (see previous post) for the large, enthusiastic group that showed up at the Artists Reception for the Women’s Journeys in Fiber Retrospective Exhibit! It took place in the old Dole mansion built in the 1860’s that is slowly being restored by the community. Very cool! Interesting contrast between the 100 pieces of vibrant, colorful art with the intricate wood trims and their peeling paint, the lofty ceilings and crumbling walls (not yet restored). The art and the good company nourished me yet again.

In one of those pre-sleep flashes the night before, I remembered I had written a new poem for Jan Gerber, the curator and coordinator of ten years of these fiber arts projects. I read the poem to see if it seemed “settled” and gave it to her as a surprise.

Then I began my reading with this recent poem. What of yourself do you see in her?

11/23/09

For Jan Gerber

You are the seed crystal,
the often unsung hero,

the gatherer, the glue,
the creative spark,

the tranquil reflecting pool,
the gypsy fortune teller.

The one who risks,
the nurturer,

the shock absorber,
the way seeker,

the book maker,
the curator, the midwife,

creator of the grand design,
the one who keeps on.

The dreamer
and follower of the dream.

Trust, patience, truth,
good humor, good heart,

intelligence, hope,
inspiration, courage.

Listener, speaker,
avid student, natural teacher.

Persistent. Determined.
Enthusiastic. Resilient.

Kind and generous.
What of myself

is mirrored in you?

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

Mantles of Transformation

In 2000, I was inspired by the Mantles Project displayed as part of the Fine Art of Fiber show at the nearby Chicago Botanic Garden. About 30 unique, colorful garments created by local women artists, each reflecting their spiritual/life journey. Awesome. I took many photographs and then the lines began in my head to the poem below. I used my photos as a watermark behind the poem and also read it to the group.

You can see these beautiful garments (https://www.womensjourneysinfiber.com/) at a new exhibit, Women’s Journey in Fiber Retrospective Exhibit at Lakeside Legacy Arts Park, 410 Country Club Road, Crystal Lake, IL, https://www.lakesidelegacy.org/ running Jan 4-22. (Curated by Jan Gerber) Don’t miss this extraordinary vibrant show!

I will be reading “Mantles of Transformation,” at the Artists Reception Jan 17 at 2-5 PM Come join us!

Mantles of Transformation

by Margaret Dubay Mikus

The clothes I wear define
the role I choose to play,
or choose without knowing a choice.
And if I wish to change my past
in the endless unfolding drama,

I naturally would change my garb.
I might buy an outfit that better suits
who I am becoming
or I might fashion with my own hands
a garment of my own devising.

I might think on it and meditate
and in the end just wait
until this mantle of transformation
slowly reveals itself to me….
And my hands begin, as my mind lets go,

to weave from all I know, using
threads from my past
and hopes from my future
and Divine breath with every suture,
all woven into my wondrous creation.

And once I have done it
I know I can
begin with a dream
and make it so I can hold it
in my trembling hands.

And once I have done it
I know you can too, create
a mantle to proudly wear
as you set your course
for a new destination.

We can weave all the love we are
into each moment, each hour,
all the kindness and compassion,
all the fire, longing and desire—
I’ve seen it done.

Thirty women met in a class last year
and began a course none knew well
to discover what lay ahead.
And together, with conscious intent,
each made manifest her heart’s desire:

a mantle of vivid color, pastels or black and white.
Of lace or silk, memory and mist, sweat and tears,
beads and buttons, laughter and determination.
As time went on, they helped each other
realize their lofty goal: to show themselves

and show their world, be it large or small,
a piece of their true magnificence,
remembering as they sewed or knit
what joy in pure creation.
And whether each mantle turned out

as originally envisioned was unimportant,
their lives changed as their hearts opened
and hands worked, each creation becoming
a thing alive, growing and evolving.
Each “baby” was then birthed in its own time,

with many midwives to assist
and encourage and breathe with the “mother’
and to admire each “baby” as it slipped out
and gave a first lusty cry.

Each mantle unique as each woman,
each story one of a kind.
Each mantle unique as her face, her vision,
her spirit, her voice, her life experience.

And it came to be that the mantles were displayed
in a location perfect to see them all and be inspired,
and then moved to another center of art and another….
Will the mantles go home or will they travel,
gallery art or wearing apparel?

Many doors are open, the future
limited only by imagination.
Where could these divine creations go
to spread their inspiration?
A book, on the radio, TV, or the web,

postcards, note cards, and who knows what.
Or the mantles might quietly return to their makers,
to cloak her, to be her flame and let her bask in
well-deserved glory. In the end we find:
it is not the destinations—

it is the journeys that most move us.

Copyright © 2000

mantle: noun and verb

A loose sleeveless coat worn over outer garments; a cloak
Something that covers, envelops
Ornamental facing
Zone of hot gases around a flame
Sheath of threads that gives off a brilliant illumination when heated by flame
Cerebral
Layer of earth
Blast furnace above the hearth
Wings, feathers, and back colored differently from rest of the body
Fold or pair of folds
To spread or become extended over a surface
Covered with a coating, as froth
Overspread by blushes or colors

From American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, 3rd Ed.,
Houghton Mifflin Company, 1992

Breast Health Month…Every Month

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. I prefer a focus on Breast Health rather than cancer. Let us examine our breasts with love rather than fear as a natural part of taking good care of ourselves. Let us listen to our bodies easily, before they have to scream to be heard over the daily cacophony of life, often taking care of others first.

Twice I have had breast cancer, in 1996 and in 2007. I learned a great deal about healing body, mind, emotions, and spirit. And each time I was cracked open–in a good way–breaking through old defenses, encouraging me to bloom. Even my relationships were healed. Writing saved me, allowing me to access inner wisdom about my healing process. This poetic journal, begun after healing from MS in 1995, continues still.

Here is poem I wrote last week. When I read it to him today, my voice teacher encouraged me to post it as part of this special month.

10/12/09

From the Stars

Here I am
naked before you,
all scars, weakness,
vulnerability revealed

as beautiful.

Steely resolve,
stubborn determination,
hard-won power

as foundation.

Unashamed,
unassuming,
hiding nothing
I might once have deemed

unacceptable.

Something to be said for
enduring, growing,
transforming, transcending.

Every wrinkle
tells a story
of care or neglect.

every scar a tale
of chance or choice,
guilt, healing, awareness, or regret.

I can tell you
have come from the stars
just to see

life here in action.
Here I am.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
Copyright 2009