Category Archives: personal growth

Spheres of Influence

(Conversation during surgery with Dr. James Lahti)

The smallest sphere
over which you have some control
some potential influence
is close around you
like an ample balloon skin
In that sphere it is possible
someone might listen
(like you, even)
might pay attention
be swayed, persuaded
by your passion or conviction
might choose to change

The next sphere out
a bit larger, more diffuse
more indirect, you may still
affect the outcome
Your intensity, thoughtfulness
your clarity, honesty
can elevate the energy
enough to shift
something, someone

Start where you are
do not wait for perfection
Do what you can
Breathe. Rest often

The biggest sphere—
over which you have no control
is most of everything
But with others, in the aggregate
you may move recalcitrant mountains
Alone—nothing. Together—maybe
And in that sphere if you
in your naïve intensity
in your innocent propensity
put all your life energy, your belief
in fairness, the way life should be
you will burn out your engine
spinning your tires until they shred
and you are left with a husk

So…don’t do that
spend all your preciousness
on nothing.
FOCUS
your innate inner light where it can
do the most good in the day to day
Join others who are like-minded
Notice and step back when you’ve slipped
into spinning your wheels to no end

Do it for yourself, for all of us
for now and ever. Amen.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2025

From my poetic journal
9/16/25

Poem for Spring About Acceptance

7:15 PM

You don’t criticize a bud
because it is not yet a flower
or judge the speed of its opening
as too slow.
It is a bud,
nature in motion,
life in process.

And when petals first unfurl,
you don’t heap harsh words
on those virgin petals.
You wait with awe
and anticipation
that should all progress
according to design,
without harshness of influence
or environment—no early
frost or late freeze,
no fire or pest or disease—
that with one invisible push,
the mature bloom opens revealing
the hidden heart in all its glory.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2004

From Letting Go and New Beginnings: A Mother’s Poetic Journey

Multi-color Tulip by M D Mikus, Copyright 2013

Prompted by Blake’s Question

4/5/20

Prompted by Blake’s Question

in this time of mandatory stay at home

For Stephen

We do what we can
to laugh, to love
to live another day.

And when we learn better
hopefully we do better.
How have you and I stayed

together 48+ years—still friends?
Once the question is out there
I’ve been thinking back

to the roller coaster
our constant notes written and left
to find, funny, sometimes thoughtful

sometimes informative, touching base.
The times we might have split
but worked through it

the relentless medical challenges
job stresses, raising two kids
personal growth, changing, not always

in perfect parallel aligned
“and if I fall behind, wait for me.”
But here we are together

almost half a century after that first January
when we sat side by side in the front row
the first day of a college literature class

had our first conversation of countless many.
Here we are still interested
still laughing, watching out for each other

still loving.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2020

From my poetic journal, a reminder that this week (Jan 17, 1972) is celebrating 49 years together. The quote is a reference to a Bruce Springsteen song.

Unexpected Wave, CA Beach, by M D Mikus, Copyright 2013

After the Wave, taken by Stephen Mikus 2013

After Midge and Catching Up on the News

After Midge and
Catching Up on the News

Every day now
an endurance test
how much can I stand
before I fall
Despair though understandable
is not my friend
No going back to then
ahead the only direction
what we do with
what was broken
maybe always has been
To know enough
but not too much
to buckle the knees in sorrow
unrelenting, unresisting
No, I say again, No
I did not come for this
I did not endure up to now
for this
yet here we are
and yes we did.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2018

Chicago O’Hare International Airport by M D Mikus, Copyright 2010

Self-Kindness

Self-Kindness

For a dear friend (and me)

To let yourself
be yourself
even encourage those aspects
that have been hidden
to come into the sun
even those facets you thought
you could reveal to no one.

To baptize the whole
with kindness
that is enough
you are enough
on your chosen journey
of loving acceptance.
Be gentle and kind to you as if

you were someone else.
Remember you cannot give
from your essence
depleting your core strength
but only from your excess.
So practice just this one thing:
self-kindness

to build the reserves
from which you can draw
in service.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2014

This poem ends my book, Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing. It has been popping into my head for a week, so here it is. For me to remember…and maybe you too?

THROWN AGAIN into the FRAZZLE MACHINE: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing