Category Archives: people

22–“From Mary Jane D. and Stephenie Meyer” from “Frazzle”

Listen to this hopeful poem (#22) “From Mary Jane D. and Stephenie Meyer,” from my book, Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing:  https://youtu.be/STLSztazYAs

I never know where inspiration will come from, and how different threads will weave together. In the title to this poem, Mary Jane refers to a woman I met through remodeling our home and Stephenie Meyer is the author of the very popular, Twilight book series. She also did a series of interviews about her writing process that were very helpful to me. The guys mentioned in the subtitle were in a social-spiritual group I belonged to and were the direct inspiration for this topic: change that seems catastrophic, shaking the foundations of the life you had built up to that time.

“…the details
don’t matter:
a choice point where

all is divided into
before…and after…”

In my healing work I had been repeatedly shaken up by new diagnoses or other dark circumstances so that I could not go back to my old life, I could only try to move forward into the unknown. I had to become better skilled at and trusting of change. In most or all cases, after time passed I could see how what had looked devastating ultimately had directed me to a better and more satisfying life path.

Has this ever happened to you or someone you know?

Listen to more poems from “Frazzle”

“Inspired by Something Partly Heard on the Radio” from “Frazzle”

Daily process for recording:
I wait until the house is settled for the night and the kitchen is tidied up. My husband goes to bed early and I set up my camera tripod next to our old maple kitchen table. Precariously I prop up my iPhone with a folded towel underneath to catch it if it falls. I turn on extra lights to chase the shadows and close the blinds to eliminate glare. After a few practice runs I take a deep breath and record. Originally I had a rule I had to get it in one take, but that puts unwanted pressure on me…and I was making up the rules in any case. If I am going to do this project (over a year’s worth of video-poems, one per day) it has to be relatively easy. I am learning as I go along. (Before this I had never made a video using my phone except by accident.)

Just like life, right? Show up every day. Do my best in the moment. Freely give the gifts I have to offer. Receive the love that comes to me. Heal as best I can, myself and all around me. “Start where I am. Use what I have, Do what I can.” (Arthur Ashe)

A good example of that was a concert we attended tonight by Joe Crookston, gifted singer-songwriter, performer, painter, etc. A man both intensely curious and willing to risk. A Chicago area snow storm was blowing outside and he stood calm in a beautiful temple, in front of vivid floor-to-ceiling, stained-glass windows. Next to him was his shadow on the wall, singing along. He opened us up with his songs and stories, his humor and humanness, and his invitation to sing as well. The time flew by and we all went back out into the storm uplifted. Truly, he is a healer. I am most grateful.

What has inspired you lately?

Poem 10 from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing: https://youtu.be/mDB8ioZKQcQ

Listen to more video poems from “Frazzle”

In Response to Recent Events

11/9/16

Election Results

Even after tonight—
the darkest star-cast night—
the sun will rise on a new morning.
What we do, each and every one
with what hand has been dealt
defines us, shapes what comes.

Even in this uncertain fog
do not succumb to despair.
We have been there before
when the worst happened
a life-threatening diagnosis
and yet…
time passed and here we are.

To be loving in the midst of this
I know it is impossible yet
I ask … and promise.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2016

I wrote this poem out of a need to express strong feelings, one moment before reading a thoughtful Facebook post by Joyce DiDonato (opera singer, teacher, and healer). Her language was almost exactly the same as mine (synchronicity) and I commented about that, quoting the last three lines of this new poem. Through our loving intention (via the internet) we connected with many others. Here is the entire poem, perhaps it might speak to or for you. Please share if you think it could help someone. Thank you.

Sunset As the Road Home Darkens, Copyright 2016 by MDMikus

Sunset As the Road Home Darkens, by MDMikus, Copyright 2016

Poems for Jenny Cooper

Chicago Botanic Garden Copyright 2016 MDMikus

Chicago Botanic Garden, Copyright 2016 MDMikus

A few years ago, I connected on Facebook with Jenny Cooper, another member of Eric Whitacre’s Virtual Choir. She had a breast cancer diagnosis and I sent her my book, As Easy as Breathing: Reclaiming Power for Healing and Transformation, to help if it could. (I wrote the book during my own cancer journey.) She was in her thirties with a loving husband, Chris, and two young sons. She became a vigorous online presence, healthcare advocate and educator, putting up vivid, honest videos of her ongoing journey. Jenny chose to life fully in every way. Despite aggressive treatment, her cancer returned and continued  to grow.

She went on hospice this summer and is now dying. I wrote these poems in the last few months in support and condolence, to help me as much as anyone. (My youngest sister was also dealing with stage 4 cancer, but is holding on at this point.) I stayed connected with both Jenny and her husband as she declined. I do not know why things happen as they do, but I do know that life has meaning. Jenny’s life touched so many and will continue to.

8/8/16

For Jenny Cooper
and Chris

In the mist
of dying
is the living
compressed

A hand to hold
is everything
a witness
to all of it

What is meaning
anyway, but
knowing you will be
missed

One way you leave
other ways you stay
no way to not be
remembered

Your own personal
flavor of immortality
your peace-heart
expanding out to the sky

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2016

 

8/25/16

For Jenny—One of Our Virtual Choir Family

What did you think
the end would look like?
Not this pain and suffering
more medications not covering
more drugged sleeping.

The bubble you live in
becoming smaller and smaller
time with husband and boys shorter.

Yes, the bucket list accomplished
the daily online posts
that express and convince
connecting still to the outside.
But why is this?
And why you?
A mystery as all of it
unfolds relentlessly.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2016

 

9/10/16

All the Days Are Numbered

Jenny and Chris Cooper

This is what dying looks like
on the good days
like living but sharper
like living but clearer
like living but deeper
the choices and chances more limited now

What is important cuts through the clutter
to take a pain-free breath
to savor a juicy peach
to hear your child’s laugh
to look in the eyes of, talk with,
hold the hand of your beloved

This is what the end looks like up close
at the edge of the unknown
all the love you have gathered to you
all the love you sent back out
This…noticing. This profound…awareness
of the part the path you walk alone…
and never alone, entirely still.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2016

Please share this post if it might help anyone.

Do Not Let Your Heart Close

10/17/16

After New Yorker Podcast

Do not let your heart close
no matter
no matter
I know what is inside and out
the dark desperation you may

never speak of…
yet there it is
no matter
no matter

The shadow that follows
the shadow released into the world
and no one knows what will happen
no matter
no matter

Do not let your heart close in fear
or protection (if you can)
without at least a sliver open
How else can the light get in
how will your light—
yes, even you…and you…
how will your light
activate a germinating seed
becoming a green shoot…a tender bud
a fully realized blossom?

You may despair for a moment
but do not live there.
Why did you choose
to come here and come now?

You don’t remember,
but I do.
Everywhere around you
is something beautiful
some kindness. Be generous.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2016

Written a few weeks ago in the midst of that craziness. With some Leonard Cohen influence and so it seemed appropriate for today, to honor his passing.

November 11, 2016, Backyard Sky and Trees, (c) MDMikus

November 8, 2016, Backyard Sky and Trees, Copyright MDMikus