Category Archives: people

32–“Thanksgiving Grieving” from “Frazzle”

Dad’s Planes by Margaret Dubay Mikus, Copyright 2016

“I can see him sitting there
so plainly on the kitchen chair,
cutting giblets for stuffing and gravy,
wanting help or company…”

From poem 32, “Thanksgiving Grieving,” in my book, Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing. Listen here: https://youtu.be/1JMbsGNangA

I prepare in the moment for the day’s reading. Although I wrote the book and have read it many times, I don’t look ahead at what poems are coming. As it turned out, I was taken by surprise by today’s poem, “Thanksgiving Grieving,” which was very emotional to read. The first several times through I couldn’t get to the end without tears. I wanted to skip this one (who would notice, really?) and yet…

I’m committed to this task set out before me: one poem a day, from start to finish of “Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine.” It is not about perfect performance in an ideal world, rather it is you and me sitting at my old maple kitchen table and I’m reading as honestly and as best I can right then. My purpose in that moment is to deliver that poem. Always a part of me wants to get it “right.” Even if that is safer, it may not be as human, as healing, as powerful. I trust. I stay with my inner guides, breathe, do my best, and let it go, as open-hearted as I can.

Note: We are still at the beginning of the book. This poem begins a long narrative thread about our parents, my Dad who had passed on years before, and the other three remaining. All woven into the fullness of life.

Is there some loss you have already dealt with, that can overtake you unexpectedly? Blessings.

For more poem videos from the “Frazzle” series

31–“Mirror: For Jan Gerber” from “Frazzle”

Dusk at Chicago Botanic Garden by M D Mikus Copyright 2015

“You are the seed crystal
the often unsung hero,

the gatherer, the glue,
the creative spark,

the tranquil reflecting pool…”

From Poem 31, “ Mirror: For Jan Gerber,” in my book, Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing. Listen here: https://youtu.be/4nL_goJyr-g

Does this sound like you or someone you know, the one always holding things together?

Background:
In 2000 I met Jan Gerber when she curated and coordinated “Women’s Journeys in Fiber,” the first in a series of “process projects” by a group of women artists based in Chicago. That year the group, reflecting on their spiritual journeys, created incredible and diverse mantles (long vests), beautifully displayed at the Chicago Botanic Garden. I was inspired to write the poem, “Mantles of Transformation,” which traveled with the exhibit and appeared in the book on the Mantles project.

When they decided to have a 10-year retrospective exhibit in 2010, Jan asked me to read it at the opening. I readily agreed. In the meantime I also wrote “Mirror: For Jan Gerber” about her. I read it as well (as a surprise). Here are my previous blog posts, including the poems.

For other poem videos in the “Frazzle” series

28–“My Daughter” from “Frazzle”

Each day I don’t sit down and select which poem to read for you. I started at the beginning of Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine and I continue reading chronologically…to tell the tale. Like all good stories there is a beginning, a middle, and an end. We are still in the beginning: getting to know the characters and the various “threads” that will be interwoven with the dramatic details into the overall narrative arc. This story is not just about external events of five years, but as close to actual life as I can capture: sublime sometimes, dark sometimes, messy and chaotic, or quiet and reflective, grieving or joyful, even funny sometimes. Being a mother is a major facet of my life.

“My Daughter

the full moon
and I am the tide
pulled inevitably
by her cycling…”

Poem 28 from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing. Listen here: https://youtu.be/dY2BmQm0frQ

For more poem videos from “Frazzle”

25–“Plea for Tolerance” from “Frazzle”

The costumes or masks we wear may hide or may reveal something about our true natures: How much more we have in common than we are different.

“…So many stories, voices longing
to be heard, lives to be witnessed,
searching for meaning, satisfaction, happiness…
just like all of us.”

Poem 25, “Plea for Tolerance” from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing. Listen here: https://youtu.be/O3cC9Jhz7CU

For more poem videos from “Frazzle”

22–“From Mary Jane D. and Stephenie Meyer” from “Frazzle”

Listen to this hopeful poem (#22) “From Mary Jane D. and Stephenie Meyer,” from my book, Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing:  https://youtu.be/STLSztazYAs

I never know where inspiration will come from, and how different threads will weave together. In the title to this poem, Mary Jane refers to a woman I met through remodeling our home and Stephenie Meyer is the author of the very popular, Twilight book series. She also did a series of interviews about her writing process that were very helpful to me. The guys mentioned in the subtitle were in a social-spiritual group I belonged to and were the direct inspiration for this topic: change that seems catastrophic, shaking the foundations of the life you had built up to that time.

“…the details
don’t matter:
a choice point where

all is divided into
before…and after…”

In my healing work I had been repeatedly shaken up by new diagnoses or other dark circumstances so that I could not go back to my old life, I could only try to move forward into the unknown. I had to become better skilled at and trusting of change. In most or all cases, after time passed I could see how what had looked devastating ultimately had directed me to a better and more satisfying life path.

Has this ever happened to you or someone you know?

Listen to more poems from “Frazzle”