Category Archives: healing

Remembering the First Day of Spring

Dorothy

It has come to my attention
that I have forgotten
the day of the year my sister died
even though it was the first day of spring
easy enough to remember.
And thus it passed by this year
without commemoration.
Upon reflection then
it seemed…perhaps…
necessary for survival.
How to get up out of
the dark, deep, dank well
of grief and choose
to live
without her.

Now, aware again
tears flowing again
but perhaps
more resilient now
than I was then
I can allow myself
to remember.

One thing I have to say
it may not have happened that way
an interpretive dance
from this precise distance
on this particular summer day.

I know I spoke of her sometimes
I know I cried sometimes.

I know I was recovering from
a total knee replacement
a big deal.

I know the country
has gone crazy and
the world is in disarray

the wars and starvation
the fires, droughts, storms and floods and
other diminutions of free-flowing energy.

When I asked her, nearing the end
what she was most afraid of, she said
that she would be forgotten

not knowing how deeply
and longingly and widely
she would be missed.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2025
 
From my poetic journal, 7/12/25

Listening to R. Carlos Nakai “Saguaro Sunset”

And inspired by Carney’s speech at DAVOS

The words have not been lining up
calling to me, insisting I catch them
as waves hit and waves hit
and we struggle to breathe
much less smile for minutes carefree
Who will be left at the end of this
what will be recognizable?
Why, just why?
As what was underneath is exposed
and what do we do with that?
Reveal who we are, must be
As we try to sleep
as we eat and comfort
remembering to hydrate
and breathe as deep as can
As we grieve some and resolve
to be kind. even something small
even once…then again
As we donate and write
and act as if…and wait…
for light, radiant
I am not blind to what is
I absorb as much or a bit more
And then I need an antidote
to the toxic, the tragic, the traumatic
Something to carry me through
believing in better
as a possibility
Can you imagine with me?

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2026

From my poetic journal, 1/22/26

Watching Sunset, Fish Creek, Wis., (C) 2015 MDMikus

“The Coming Winter” by Krista Detor

“The Coming Winter” by Krista Detor

If we could be sure
this was the beginning
of the end of this mad dark
that we would not wake up
dreading another weary morning
wondering what new low
cruelty happened overnight
But we can’t know
at this point and just like
other black bottomless pit times
we have to keep breathing
maybe smile at someone
Find something today to be grateful for
Yes, it seems trite maybe
too small to make any difference
but this is how we will travel
to the other side—in baby steps
one foot, one breath
holding to some hope
like a balloon tied to a wrist
in a strong wind
but still holding on.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2025

From my poetic journal on 10/1/25

Really Bad News, She Said

My sister Dorothy has been gone several years now. Jan. 7 was her birthday, shared with our youngest brother (exactly a year apart) and our Grandma S. (He died very young, more than a decade ago.) Here is a poem I wrote after a phone call, one of many poems about her.

1/12/19

Really Bad News, She Said

Dorothy calls

Overload
from my latest
cancer diagnosis
and yours—and
you hold the record—
as we travel in parallel
down this potholed clinical road

Different details
the outcome equally
uncontrolled as we
guess which advice
to take and when
Trying to reason and
follow intuition

Some scars visible
some internal
as each day we struggle
What is this for?
Why am I still here?
As damage accumulates
and the rarer good days

even more a gift
One more conversation
speaking the same language
treasuring the time we have
Even occasional laughter
however dark or dry

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2019

From my poetic journal

Spheres of Influence

(Conversation during surgery with Dr. James Lahti)

The smallest sphere
over which you have some control
some potential influence
is close around you
like an ample balloon skin
In that sphere it is possible
someone might listen
(like you, even)
might pay attention
be swayed, persuaded
by your passion or conviction
might choose to change

The next sphere out
a bit larger, more diffuse
more indirect, you may still
affect the outcome
Your intensity, thoughtfulness
your clarity, honesty
can elevate the energy
enough to shift
something, someone

Start where you are
do not wait for perfection
Do what you can
Breathe. Rest often

The biggest sphere—
over which you have no control
is most of everything
But with others, in the aggregate
you may move recalcitrant mountains
Alone—nothing. Together—maybe
And in that sphere if you
in your naïve intensity
in your innocent propensity
put all your life energy, your belief
in fairness, the way life should be
you will burn out your engine
spinning your tires until they shred
and you are left with a husk

So…don’t do that
spend all your preciousness
on nothing.
FOCUS
your innate inner light where it can
do the most good in the day to day
Join others who are like-minded
Notice and step back when you’ve slipped
into spinning your wheels to no end

Do it for yourself, for all of us
for now and ever. Amen.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2025

From my poetic journal
9/16/25