Category Archives: change

“Knowing What I Know…” from “Frazzle”

My husband Stephen and I met in college in January of 1972. I was 19 and he was 7 months older. We are no longer those people, who after becoming friends, fell in love that first summer and got married (once I graduated). We’ve changed over and over in 42 years of marriage. Often change is not in sync. It’s like that Bruce Springsteen song, “And if I fall behind, wait for me…” But we’ve been determined and worked through it all…to stay together.

Tonight we went to a powerfully moving recital by opera singer, Joyce Didonato. She continues to be a big inspiration for me to be fearless (including doing this video series). Because I wanted to see her, Stephen encouraged me to get the tickets. He found a lovely new sushi restaurant in Chicago and we made it through traffic to get parked and into the performance in good time, a feat in itself. Stephen liked it. I loved it, even tearing up by her last encore.

That’s one thing that’s kept us close. We each bring something different to the relationship. We’re willing to try something new. And we support each other. I am most grateful. What relationships are you grateful for?

Here is Poem 9 from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing: https://youtu.be/VLhrqr0rk6k

Listen to more video poems from “Frazzle”

“Caused to Stop and Think” from “Frazzle”

From the beginning of my poetic journal 21 years ago, I knew that the most powerful way to deliver my poems was to read them aloud. When I wrote the first one (quite a surprise to me!), it was clear I needed to record it when I gave it to the recipient. I wanted him to hear it the way I had when I wrote it. Over the years, if I wrote a poem for someone I would read it to them in person if possible. Almost 10 years ago I recorded my first CD, Full Blooming: Selections from a Poetic Journal. I chose poems (including 3 songs) from 10 years of writing to express the widest array of my life experiences, from the silly to healing to the darkest moments and all in between. My “full blooming.”

For 24 years I have taken voice lessons with Kip Snyder. I longed to sing with my full voice. As it turned out, that also included my writing voice. As I navigated life’s bumps and bruises, medical challenges, celebrations, and hard times, we kept on. It was not about singing like anyone else, but discovering my own unique voice and trusting in it. Letting go the harsh inner critical judge that held me back. In addition to singing, I also brought my poems to read aloud. For about 8 months now, starting at the beginning, I’ve been reading the poems from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace Hope, and Healing, 3 to 6 poems at a time. Perhaps I was staying connected to the messages in the verses. I don’t know, it just seemed like the right thing to do, getting ready for something…

Yet even with all this preparation I held back from being too public. The writing is so personal and maybe it felt too exposed. But now is the time for all of us to step up into our full healing power–and we are fabulous healers. These times call for a certain kind of courage and trust. What do you know you need to do, but maybe are fearful? Can you take a small step to bring us your gifts? We need you. All together we can co-create the world we want to live in.

With healing intention, here is poem 4 from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: https://youtu.be/rQWhbosuSxE

Take good care. Thanks for listening.

Listen to more poems from “Frazzle”

THROWN AGAIN into the FRAZZLE MACHINE: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing

“Meltdown”– Reading 3 from “Frazzle”

I got back late tonight from a lovely, energizing outing. Stephen and I went to a Folkstage concert (Jan Krist, who was awesome) and then a birthday dinner for a friend. Still, I am committed to doing these short videos. I centered myself and drank some water. I allowed myself to dump the one flubbed reading and then uploaded the second one. (This process has to be easy if I’m going to go the distance.)

I want to say I am grateful to Amanda Palmer, artist, singer-songwriter, performer, best-selling author and so much more. I’ve learned a lot from her about letting go of the creations you make.

So here is “Meltdown,” the 3rd poem in the video series from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine. Perhaps this speaks for you as well. Seems like I wrote it for today, right? https://youtu.be/5YV70CP5ICI

Listen to more poems from “Frazzle”

THROWN AGAIN into the FRAZZLE MACHINE: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing

In Response to Recent Events

11/9/16

Election Results

Even after tonight—
the darkest star-cast night—
the sun will rise on a new morning.
What we do, each and every one
with what hand has been dealt
defines us, shapes what comes.

Even in this uncertain fog
do not succumb to despair.
We have been there before
when the worst happened
a life-threatening diagnosis
and yet…
time passed and here we are.

To be loving in the midst of this
I know it is impossible yet
I ask … and promise.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2016

I wrote this poem out of a need to express strong feelings, one moment before reading a thoughtful Facebook post by Joyce DiDonato (opera singer, teacher, and healer). Her language was almost exactly the same as mine (synchronicity) and I commented about that, quoting the last three lines of this new poem. Through our loving intention (via the internet) we connected with many others. Here is the entire poem, perhaps it might speak to or for you. Please share if you think it could help someone. Thank you.

Sunset As the Road Home Darkens, Copyright 2016 by MDMikus

Do Not Let Your Heart Close

10/17/16

After New Yorker Podcast

Do not let your heart close
no matter
no matter
I know what is inside and out
the dark desperation you may

never speak of…
yet there it is
no matter
no matter

The shadow that follows
the shadow released into the world
and no one knows what will happen
no matter
no matter

Do not let your heart close in fear
or protection (if you can)
without at least a sliver open
How else can the light get in
how will your light—
yes, even you…and you…
how will your light
activate a germinating seed
becoming a green shoot…a tender bud
a fully realized blossom?

You may despair for a moment
but do not live there.
Why did you choose
to come here and come now?

You don’t remember,
but I do.
Everywhere around you
is something beautiful
some kindness. Be generous.

Written a few weeks ago in the midst of that craziness. With some Leonard Cohen influence and so it seemed appropriate for today, to honor his passing.

November 11, 2016, Backyard Sky and Trees, (c) MDMikus

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