Category Archives: change

“Absolution” from Full Blooming CD

Absolution

Am I absolved
because I knew
about these things,
but could do nothing?

Nothing except feel
and write,
nothing except speak
with passion,
nothing except send
healing energy,
nothing except vote
my conscience,
nothing except to be
in the world a woman of peace.

But I could not stop
atrocities, I could not
heal wounds deep,
inflicted by leaders
blind to the consequences
of their actions.

No, I could not do these things…
and yet I continue walking
from one day to the next,
I continue breathing,
and if I am still living
it must be for some reason.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2004

From my CD, Full Blooming: Selections from a Poetic Journal.
It seemed especially true for me today. Perhaps you too.

Listen here for my poem reading on my Full Blooming CD

After You Left

Letting Go and New Beginnings: A Mother’s Poetic Journey

Shortly after we dropped our daughter off at her new college dorm she asked if I missed her. In response I sent her the 14 poems I had written to help me cope with her leaving. Later these poems became the seed that grew into my book Letting Go and New Beginnings: A Mother’s Poetic Journey.I also included the poems from when her older brother went off to college and photographs I took of the campus. I realized that when one phase of life ends, another begins and those poems are part of the story as well.

I thought it was finished in 2006, but more poems came when our two children returned home like many of their generation. All of us were adjusted to our separate lives and had to adjust to living together. And then, once again, the leaving.

It is a mystery why certain poems pop into my head years later, but this one has been quite insistent lately. Perhaps it is the opening lines…

For you, here is this poem from Letting Go and New Beginnings:

2/24/08

After You Left

Constantly
I am watching out for you.
Even when I am not watching,
I am watching.

I cannot say why this is true
or when it began,
it feels like forever
my love.

So do me a great favor
and become…not less carefree
nor less careless,
nor even more careful,

for being full of care
is not it exactly.
Be more aware of your choices,
more in tune with your inner wisdom.

For you are wise
dear one.

And if I am selfish
and want you to stay with me
when it is clearly time to go,
forgive…

and go.
Call me when you arrive.
I will be waiting.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
Copyright 2008

Another Day

4/14/20

Another day
another news briefing
depending on who says
the weight of it all
heavy or heavier
in the daily fog
of uncertainty

I am choosing
and again and again
to mostly not listen
not in denial
head in the sand
but in determination
to not drown

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2020

Every day trying to find the balance between knowing enough, but not too much. Perhaps you too?

Amanda Palmer: Song in Progress

10/18/17

Amanda Palmer: Song in Process

what do you most fear, part 2

Every fear
ever invented
is stuck in
someone’s throat
as if
everything is darkness

All the fears
loneliness, isolation
not-enoughness
the doom of the times
we seem to be in
and yet…

on the good days
we breathe
on the good days
sun shines or rain
falls on the wild fires
on the good days
we can sleep and wake
before we remember fear

And the bad days
we all have
we won’t speak of here
but to acknowledge them
as part of universal life

As I scroll down this list
of over a thousand comments
not reading each word
but blessing each
vulnerable human

who took the time
to write on the chance
it would matter
to someone reading
or someone praying
or someone writing a song.

Expanding the Possibilities

6/5/20

Expanding the Possibilities

I am responsible.
I am one who said to the Universe:
“Let the Truth be known”
and now Truth is spilling out
all over the place.
Voices being seen and heard
that had long been silenced.
Except by the Truth-averse
of which there are many
maybe diminishing.
In this time of chaotic
tumultuous upheaval
Love steps forward to help, to serve
Fear continues acting from apparent self-interest.
And to the Universe I now say
“Let Love transform Fear
with all necessary reassurance.
Let deep healing of chasms begin…
and soon please. Thank you. Amen.”

We are One
standing in shadow, in sun.

I “heard” the opening lines of this poem for a week or more before I was willing to follow them and see where it took me. (The original title was “I Was Reluctant, This One Insisted.”) Some poems come to me easily and even intact, in their final form. Some, like this one, come slowly over time with words that shift and new lines that come out after several weeks of patiently checking in and reading the poem aloud over and over. In this case, once the poem was finished, the title no longer fit and I sifted through many possibilities before this one settled.

Thank you to those who read it or listened, encouraging me that it was good enough to let it go.

These are extraordinary times of upheaval, with great potential for lasting change. What we do with this healing opportunity, each in our own small ways, is our responsibility. For me, writing and releasing poems is part of my contribution, however small. Perhaps this poem speaks for or to you or someone you know. Please share it you think it may help.

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