13–“The Crack Between” by Margaret Dubay Mikus

With our complex lives, sometimes there is only a tiny space to write, when inspiration insists. Here is a poem that came through that space one day. Poem 13, “The Crack Between,” from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing:   https://youtu.be/35taG1fpLOo

When I first started writing my poetic journal 21 years ago, I had spiral notebooks stashed everywhere, so whenever a poem came to me I could write it down. I would even jump back out of bed at night…multiple times. I was intoxicated by the creative impulse. I knew if I waited, those specific compelling words would vanish and that poem would be gone.

After a point I realized I had to have some balance. I needed sleep, I had to pay attention driving, I had other responsibilities to myself and to family and friends. And so I made a decision to limit writing time (with a few exceptions). I don’t sit at my desk and spend a designated amount of hours each day. I write poems wherever I am when words come to me that intrigue, that seem to be leading to somewhere interesting. (Unlike ordinary thoughts, the opening lines of a poem seem “highlighted” in some way.) I still have notebooks in several places, but fewer. I rarely jump up from bed at night, though a poem may come out of a dream upon waking.

I consider these poems a divine gift, a sacred trust. And if I write something for someone, I try my best to get it to them. I hear the words and that is how I write them on the page, so that you can “hear” them too.

How do you find balance in your life between the inner and outer demands?

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US Review of Books: Recommends Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine

THROWN AGAIN into the FRAZZLE MACHINE: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing

Exciting news to share with you! My book, “Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine,” is Recommended by US Review of Books! Yay! I am most grateful. Here is the review:

Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing by Margaret Dubay Mikus, Ph.D., Three Heart Press, reviewed by Donna Ford

“…take this lifeboat with me through some rough seas and calm, into the streaming light on the far shore. Let me tell you a story…”

Whether in the midst of a stormy period of life or having recently passed through such a time, you will instantly relate to what the author means by being thrown into the Frazzle Machine. Beating multiple sclerosis, breast cancer, and other health issues, Mikus remains so much more than a survivor. Taking inspiration from her full life as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend, she demonstrates how to overcome.

This collection of poignant poems resonates with the input of two halves of one skillful poet. The research biologist can be recognized by her wielding of medical knowledge and naming body parts unmentionable in polite company. The living woman pours out her experiences on behalf of readers who need support to pull themselves up by the bootstraps and move into future healing. Mikus’ sensitive words warm the reader similar to the gentle touch of a friend on the sufferer’s shoulder. Balancing the high drama inherent in hospital stays and visits is a series of poems titled “Evening Walks.” Vivid colors of the sky, trees, and glowing paths fade into evening to bring elements of peaceful closure to the often tiresome days of life.

Mikus has previously proven her skill as a poet of note by winning an Eric Hoffer award for As Easy As Breathing. Her lines of poetry are short and rhythmic, almost like a heartbeat. Punctuation is fluid to maintain the steady flow of thoughts and experiences. Repetition of key phrases is a technique used for emphasis, for example, “be loving… be joyful… be a good example.” The book is to be commended for its extensive Table of Contents and a Time Line covering events in the poet’s life between 2009 and 2014. These two organizational strategies help tie a specific poem to an actual life event.

RECOMMENDED by the US Review
© 2016 All Rights Reserved

“Put Down the Sword of Self-Wounding” from “Frazzle”

This poem was inspired by a conversation in a parking lot with my friend, Geary Davis, who said one sentence that really soaked into me. I am grateful still.

Poem #12, “Put Down the Sword of Self-Wounding,” from my book, Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing, is about a healing a particular relationship, the one with myself. Listen: https://youtu.be/wlekuqQpQ9k

5/28/09

Put Down the Sword of Self-Wounding

After talking to Geary about a ritual to ease pain

Put down the sword
of self-destruction
and self-immolation,

of self-defeat, self-demolition,
and self-defacing. Stop
stabbing myself in the vulnerable gut

in remorse, guilt, grief and regret
at what I could not
control or plan or shape.

Melt that sword
into the ploughshare
that carves the furrows

into which I place
the seeds I have been holding back.
Let forgiveness

flood the field,
let love shine upon them,
let the earth be fertile and loam-rich

and bountiful harvest my just reward.
After all the lifetimes
of all the dark and light alike

let my new life
result from a conscious new choice:
to put down the sword.

No more self-blame
self-criticism or self-judging,
no more crimson shame,

no more self-harsh words,
no more self-unkindness,
no more self-disrespect,

or screaming at myself
at perceived imperfections
or unbearable failings.

Only forgiveness
to the bone of things
to the bottom and top of memory,

forgiveness heaped
on forgiveness, eaten
at a great feast of forgiveness.

And when sated,
love as dessert and
as the main course ever after.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2009

Does this feel at all familiar to you?

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“Driving I-55” from “Frazzle”

One original intention for my book, “Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing,” was to be a lifeboat through hard times. I know many people who are struggling right now. With this in mind, I began making videos reading a poem a day, starting at the beginning of the book. This was something I could do to maybe reach out and help someone…including me. (Most of the poems are less than 2 minutes.)

So…for a very different scene from the winter storm passing through the Midwest today, give a listen to Poem 11, “Driving I-55”: https://youtu.be/IAcL0uxpXxk

What’s going on with you today?

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“Inspired by Something Partly Heard on the Radio” from “Frazzle”

Daily process for recording:
I wait until the house is settled for the night and the kitchen is tidied up. My husband goes to bed early and I set up my camera tripod next to our old maple kitchen table. Precariously I prop up my iPhone with a folded towel underneath to catch it if it falls. I turn on extra lights to chase the shadows and close the blinds to eliminate glare. After a few practice runs I take a deep breath and record. Originally I had a rule I had to get it in one take, but that puts unwanted pressure on me…and I was making up the rules in any case. If I am going to do this project (over a year’s worth of video-poems, one per day) it has to be relatively easy. I am learning as I go along. (Before this I had never made a video using my phone except by accident.)

Just like life, right? Show up every day. Do my best in the moment. Freely give the gifts I have to offer. Receive the love that comes to me. Heal as best I can, myself and all around me. “Start where I am. Use what I have, Do what I can.” (Arthur Ashe)

A good example of that was a concert we attended tonight by Joe Crookston, gifted singer-songwriter, performer, painter, etc. A man both intensely curious and willing to risk. A Chicago area snow storm was blowing outside and he stood calm in a beautiful temple, in front of vivid floor-to-ceiling, stained-glass windows. Next to him was his shadow on the wall, singing along. He opened us up with his songs and stories, his humor and humanness, and his invitation to sing as well. The time flew by and we all went back out into the storm uplifted. Truly, he is a healer. I am most grateful.

What has inspired you lately?

Poem 10 from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing: https://youtu.be/mDB8ioZKQcQ

Listen to more video poems from “Frazzle”