Really Bad News, She Said

My sister Dorothy has been gone several years now. Jan. 7 was her birthday, shared with our youngest brother (exactly a year apart) and our Grandma S. (He died very young, more than a decade ago.) Here is a poem I wrote after a phone call, one of many poems about her.

1/12/19

Really Bad News, She Said

Dorothy calls

Overload
from my latest
cancer diagnosis
and yours—and
you hold the record—
as we travel in parallel
down this potholed clinical road

Different details
the outcome equally
uncontrolled as we
guess which advice
to take and when
Trying to reason and
follow intuition

Some scars visible
some internal
as each day we struggle
What is this for?
Why am I still here?
As damage accumulates
and the rarer good days

even more a gift
One more conversation
speaking the same language
treasuring the time we have
Even occasional laughter
however dark or dry

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2019

From my poetic journal

Nationwide Protest

For anyone who has been
paying attention
the ditch we find ourselves in
was the obvious destination
all the accumulation
of micro-choices and not choosing
all the heads in the sand
the failure of imagination
And yet in the cycling of everything as it
inevitably does, time moving along
this too shall pass
And the days ahead
will be shaped by what we do
with what was given
with what words are spoken aloud
Do not despair
it is not hopeless
I will admit
it is monstrously dark
but now you can see
all the united pinpoints of light
gathering in the crowded streets

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2025

From my poetic journal,
written after the first “No Kings” protest in June.

Spheres of Influence

(Conversation during surgery with Dr. James Lahti)

The smallest sphere
over which you have some control
some potential influence
is close around you
like an ample balloon skin
In that sphere it is possible
someone might listen
(like you, even)
might pay attention
be swayed, persuaded
by your passion or conviction
might choose to change

The next sphere out
a bit larger, more diffuse
more indirect, you may still
affect the outcome
Your intensity, thoughtfulness
your clarity, honesty
can elevate the energy
enough to shift
something, someone

Start where you are
do not wait for perfection
Do what you can
Breathe. Rest often

The biggest sphere—
over which you have no control
is most of everything
But with others, in the aggregate
you may move recalcitrant mountains
Alone—nothing. Together—maybe
And in that sphere if you
in your naïve intensity
in your innocent propensity
put all your life energy, your belief
in fairness, the way life should be
you will burn out your engine
spinning your tires until they shred
and you are left with a husk

So…don’t do that
spend all your preciousness
on nothing.
FOCUS
your innate inner light where it can
do the most good in the day to day
Join others who are like-minded
Notice and step back when you’ve slipped
into spinning your wheels to no end

Do it for yourself, for all of us
for now and ever. Amen.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2025

From my poetic journal
9/16/25

Advice

IL Route 22, Sept. 2017, copyright MDMikus

1/22/25

Advice

Pace yourself
this is a marathon
not a sprint to the finish
Do not let in
more than you can stand
Mistakes are made
learn from them
no shame, no blame
Apologize if appropriate
forgive if you can
no point in carrying
the extra rock-sack burden
up a steep scree slope
Remember to be grateful
remember to breathe
remember to be where you are
not leaping ahead to some
potential future dark doom
however vividly envisioned.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2025

From my poetic journal.
I keep coming back to these lines as a necessary touchstone-reminder in these chaotic times. “Pace yourself…remember”…if I am getting overwhelmed.

Inspired by Tom Prasada-Rao–One More Poem

Tom Prasada-Rao, a lovely singer-songwirter and generous person, gracefully passed on a few days ago after years of cancer treatment. He made the most of his time here and was an influence on those who connected with his music and all of those he worked with. He also inspired through who he was and how he handled his cancer treatment, including me. I have loved his music for years and followed his journey to the end, with so many friends and family visiting, posting photos on Facebook for all to see. This is how you can graciously leave life here, heading into the next chapter. This is one of the poems he inspired. See link at the end for three more.

8/29/19

Face Reanimation Surgery
Tom P-R

A certain acceptance
of how things are
where you have landed
and taking another step
to where you are going
trusting information that
made its way to you
and trusting your intuition
always the future unknown
How much is envisioning
exposing a divine plan?
You wait and heal
and do what you can
All the while, on the good days
patient and loving
no matter the outcome
short or long term
What was taken, restored
not a promise guaranteed
hope, then
grist for imagination
and healing co-creation

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2019

From my upcoming collection, Rippling Out from Folkstage

Inspired by Tom Prasada-Rao