Author Archives: Margaret Dubay Mikus

IWWG at BROWN, part 1

One of the good things for me last year was attending my second International Women’s Writing Guild Conference, held in 2010 at Brown University in Providence, RI. I was still recovering my resilience and stamina, but I was determined to go. I had new writer friends to see again and I gave myself permission to do whatever I wanted. I had never been in Rhode Island, I could be a new me. Each day I had inner guidance about an “assignment”: someone to talk with, or something write about. I gave my first reading at one of the nighttime open readings. I met new women. I sold my books and CD at the book fairs at the beginning and the end. I worked on a poem/photo project about doors, inspired by one sentence a teacher said at the opening. I took care of myself. And every day I followed the energy. It might mean doing an energy healing for someone I met at lunch or it might mean taking pictures or sitting in reflection on the quads. Here is about the first third of the writing from that lovely week with a few photographs.

7/31/10

Grounding in Earth and Sky

For Diane and me

How much trouble
you can get in
not listening to your own wisdom

giving away power
to make decisions
then saying…later…

I knew all along.
See now how strong you are,
no longer a beginner.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

7/31/10

For Hannelore

Reflection,
introspection,

change in direction,
some follow, some lead,

some drop out and circle back,
some stay away forever and sulk,

some are drawn in who never were,
change is a requirement for living.

Adaptation with the blowing wind,
continual evolution,

so it is for all living things
including people and organizations,

the desire to exist, to keep on.
Nourish the whole

and the courageous ones
will risk it all following the larger vision.

What is important is not each tiny detail,
but the rich and nurturing conversation.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

7/31/10

After the wise women
must come the young ones
who care, who bear the

accumulated lessons
with learning of their own
in context of their times.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

7/31/10

Adventure After Waterfire

Lost
but not lost,

knew where we were
but not how to get

where we were going
back to temporary home.

Stopped for directions at a waterside bar
on the wrong side of the river

and from two characters in the parking lot:
a right, 5 lefts, over the red bridge

and down Angell Street,
which improbably turned out to be right.

Disorienting dark
with inconstant moon as talisman!

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/1/10

Healing Lunch
After Sue

There is the linear way of things
and there is the other,
order inherent in apparent chaos

where what comes together
has invisible purpose,
and what comes to us

leads back to wholeness.
There is no separation,
energy is energy whatever the spectrum.

To allow this process to happen,
to graciously let go
the smoke, the veil, the illusion,

to be content and at ease
in this insistent skin.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/1/10

Starving for Solitude

The nothing
in which to shape
something

of my own invention
is missing
all space filled

all days overflowing
even into night
More than one

chance to choose…
otherwise.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/1/10

Choosing a Teacher

Be careful who you select
as teacher, not to swallow
everything you hear,
paying attention to your truth-sense.

Be aware of how you feel—
discomfort tells you something
not good/not bad
necessarily, but check in:

Who resonates, who is kind in assisting,
strengthening the emerging voice,
not stamping on tender shoots
barely emerged from germination.

Who would never douse the heart-fire
and disperse your dream
back to the swirling primordial mists
it trustingly came from.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/3/10

Doors (1)

What is behind Door #1
unknown

What is behind Door 2 and 3
however elegant or shabby?

And all the rest: 14, 22, 637…?
Step through

close off or circle back
and see what happens

who do I want to be
and want with me?

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/3/10

To Protect My Luminosity

and not feel guilty

to be drawn to or away from
listen and let it be

What I am here for
who I am I see:

to gaze at the stars
to stand in the sun

no more, no less
to speak and sing and be silent

to flow as colored silk on the wind
to be truth as I know it

to catch, to throw, to be kind
to lead, to follow, to be still.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/3/10

To Be

An experiment
yet untried,

quite funny really,
to be myself fully for a week

day in day out, moment to moment,
to listen and act from

inner wisdom,
to pay attention aligned

and balanced, in harmony.
To act as if I am healed

and realize it
is true…

extensive laughing is involved
and weightlessness.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/3/10

Yes, I Noticed You Being You

What can I say of friend Amy
who spoke tonight so well and courageously,

who opened arms wide, glad to see me
before I even stepped through the door.

And who generously watches out for me
and graciously accepts me.

How fine a friend is that!

Amy, who paints her sad tale so vividly
parts of it are funny,

disconcerting when she feels more the tragedy,
but she pulls us into the humanness of the story

and humor allows us to keep looking,
to keep listening to what was imaginably unbearable.

A skilled weaver, illusionist, wordsmith,
she makes me care…what happens next.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

8/4/10

IWWG Conference

In coming together
opportunity
to see the places
both healed and raw still

To be who we are
built on what we have chosen
to be better than
wild and playful imagination

Whoever, up to now,
you have been
or considered being
come here…and choose

and choose again.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

Priming the Pump

One of the delights in 2010 were the amazing performers I heard and met at live Folkstage concerts on many Saturday nights, (also heard on WFMT just before The Midnight Special. Both shows are masterminded by Rich Warren.) My husband, Stephen, and I have been members for a while and really look forward to the music and the company (and the treats). Recently the concerts have stimulated my writing in a big way (priming the pump). I’ll be sharing some of those poems (and artists) with you.

12/5/10 Sunday

Buskin and Batteau

(at Folkstage)

If I had known you better
before I met you,
before I heard you sing,

I might not have
gathered the courage to speak,
taken advantage of opportunity,

grace, and graciousness.
But I didn’t know of your vast accomplishments
(of course discounting my own)

I only heard the call of the song,
the stories that sprang out apparently
fresh and unjaded when you weren’t looking.

I only knew the music, the dance, the vibration.
And because I was there alone last night, which is unusual,
and because it was the first big storm of the season

and because I had just heard bad news
that pierced me, shaking my defenses,
taking away any semblance of invulnerability,

because I had been waiting in some essential way
to speak to you, to give to you just a bit
and to receive what you offered perhaps surprised.

Well then, the Universe made the set up
and I walked through the open door.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

More about David Buskin and Robin Batteau can be found here

Mini-Review of 2010, Part 1

I remember 2010 as a very difficult year. And in many ways, that is true. But when viewed from a bit of distance, it was mixed, really, with low and high points. I don’t want to spend too much time there, but I do want to wrap it up as a way of going forward. First: the challenges. Last: the delights.

Today’s topic: A Major Challenge.

In February, 2010, after many months of body-mind-spirit energy healing work, I had my third surgery for an abdominal hernia, repairing damage partly due to previous surgeries. There were unexpected post-surgery complications, pain, and a long recovery. Not much writing. For a while I was physically unable to write and mentally foggy. I also did not want to remember the details, which caused flashbacks. Here are two short poems and photos from that time.

2/11/10

Comfort

Sometimes the need for comfort is so acute,
the circumstances so dire and dark,
the vortex you are pulled into so nightmarish,

everything taken away: food, water, sleep, all the familiar,
that you can’t find yourself within yourself,
you are a skin filled with nothing in particular

and it seems you will always be lost.
Even if someone is there who knows you well,
whose voice is the tether to reality,

who casts the line, holds the rod that reels you in,
even then
the need for comfort is so great

that anything from home,
any ice chip or thoughtfulness,
any kindness or generous voice

calls you back to hopefulness.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

2/24/10

Room on Cardiology Floor

I can still feel her surprisingly soft lips
pressing on my forehead,
a good bye and good luck kiss as she left.

My roommate, sweet Italian lady,
both of us not our best, faces pale,
hair tangled and matted.

Her husband, most kind, friendly
and hopeful. Full of stories with
ambulances and happy endings. How he’d

been recognized in the grocery store by the ambulance driver.
How she’d had a seizure maybe
and he’d carried her to the door

though he had a pacemaker and they were older.
And all her surgeries and still her spunk.
“Good bye,” she said, “It will be fine,”

or something like that in her gentle Italian accent,
pressed into my hopeless forehead.
Unexpected, spontaneous, natural, and welcome.

Three weeks later I feel the kiss still.
Her easy gesture, her faith,
her sweet kindness.

Of course she was right.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

Tomorrow: the Delights

Begin Again

Last year was a tough one for me, though it got better as it went along. I will share a little more about that soon. Right now I’d like to share a book with you that is powerfully moving and helpful. Here is the review I posted on Amazon.com.

Review of Spiritual Weightlessness: Free to Create Whatever You Want: Nuggets of Wisdom from the Talks of Pramod by Pramod Uday. https://alturl.com/sgu3p

I couldn’t tell you exactly how I first found Pramod. A few years ago I was following links on the internet and I happened to find one of her podcasts. It came to me at the perfect time. In her calm and soothing voice, she spoke about mindfulness, being fully present and aware, using full enjoyment of a cup of aromatic coffee as a metaphor. I emailed her in support and she responded to my enthusiasm. Every so often I would find another one of her podcast-teachings (maybe posted on Facebook) that resonated in the moment.

Recently, she told me about her new book, Spiritual Weightlessness: Free to Create Whatever You Want. It is a lovely slim volume, designed with lots of spaciousness. Feels good to hold. I thought I could read it in one sitting, but so far, no. After a brief meditation, the first time I opened the book to a “random” page, I could hear her voice reading to me. Perfect. Another day, I intended to read it from beginning to end, but after twenty pages, I was “full.” The last page I read—to stop making rest yet another thing on the list of things to do—was just what I needed to “hear.”

I keep the book at my bedside. One more time I tried to make it to the end so I could tell her what I thought and felt. But still I found what I was looking for in just a few pages. And I set the book down for another day, letting her gently loving words soak into me, urging me to remember to be kind to myself and thus have more to give to others.

This is true healing power, vibrational energy healing, spiritual re-connection. The miracle and mystery is that when one heals, we all heal. She reminds me that no matter what comes, I am powerful, I know what I need to know, I am able, and I am filled with purpose. It is my nature. And to let go of the rest, that does not serve me.

This deceptively small volume is a potent antidote to the often toxic environments that surround us. Let it soak into you. Feel energized and positive about your life path and your ability to follow it, creating what you truly desire. The world needs what you have to offer and Pramod inspires and encourages you on your way. A lovely gift for yourself or friends; I have already ordered more.

by Margaret Dubay Mikus, Ph.D.
Award-winning author of As Easy as Breathing: Reclaiming Power for Healing and Transformation and Letting Go and New Beginnings: A Mother’s Poetic Journey. Selected poems from both books are read on her CD, Full Blooming. More about her on www.FullBlooming.com

Often Unsung Heroes

What a pleasure reading my poem, “Mantles of Transformation,” (see previous post) for the large, enthusiastic group that showed up at the Artists Reception for the Women’s Journeys in Fiber Retrospective Exhibit! It took place in the old Dole mansion built in the 1860’s that is slowly being restored by the community. Very cool! Interesting contrast between the 100 pieces of vibrant, colorful art with the intricate wood trims and their peeling paint, the lofty ceilings and crumbling walls (not yet restored). The art and the good company nourished me yet again.

In one of those pre-sleep flashes the night before, I remembered I had written a new poem for Jan Gerber, the curator and coordinator of ten years of these fiber arts projects. I read the poem to see if it seemed “settled” and gave it to her as a surprise.

Then I began my reading with this recent poem. What of yourself do you see in her?

11/23/09

For Jan Gerber

You are the seed crystal,
the often unsung hero,

the gatherer, the glue,
the creative spark,

the tranquil reflecting pool,
the gypsy fortune teller.

The one who risks,
the nurturer,

the shock absorber,
the way seeker,

the book maker,
the curator, the midwife,

creator of the grand design,
the one who keeps on.

The dreamer
and follower of the dream.

Trust, patience, truth,
good humor, good heart,

intelligence, hope,
inspiration, courage.

Listener, speaker,
avid student, natural teacher.

Persistent. Determined.
Enthusiastic. Resilient.

Kind and generous.
What of myself

is mirrored in you?

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010