Category Archives: Video poem series

13–“The Crack Between” by Margaret Dubay Mikus

With our complex lives, sometimes there is only a tiny space to write, when inspiration insists. Here is a poem that came through that space one day. Poem 13, “The Crack Between,” from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing:   https://youtu.be/35taG1fpLOo

When I first started writing my poetic journal 21 years ago, I had spiral notebooks stashed everywhere, so whenever a poem came to me I could write it down. I would even jump back out of bed at night…multiple times. I was intoxicated by the creative impulse. I knew if I waited, those specific compelling words would vanish and that poem would be gone.

After a point I realized I had to have some balance. I needed sleep, I had to pay attention driving, I had other responsibilities to myself and to family and friends. And so I made a decision to limit writing time (with a few exceptions). I don’t sit at my desk and spend a designated amount of hours each day. I write poems wherever I am when words come to me that intrigue, that seem to be leading to somewhere interesting. (Unlike ordinary thoughts, the opening lines of a poem seem “highlighted” in some way.) I still have notebooks in several places, but fewer. I rarely jump up from bed at night, though a poem may come out of a dream upon waking.

I consider these poems a divine gift, a sacred trust. And if I write something for someone, I try my best to get it to them. I hear the words and that is how I write them on the page, so that you can “hear” them too.

How do you find balance in your life between the inner and outer demands?

Listen to more video poems from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine

“Put Down the Sword of Self-Wounding” from “Frazzle”

This poem was inspired by a conversation in a parking lot with my friend, Geary Davis, who said one sentence that really soaked into me. I am grateful still.

Poem #12, “Put Down the Sword of Self-Wounding,” from my book, Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing, is about a healing a particular relationship, the one with myself. Listen: https://youtu.be/wlekuqQpQ9k

5/28/09

Put Down the Sword of Self-Wounding

After talking to Geary about a ritual to ease pain

Put down the sword
of self-destruction
and self-immolation,

of self-defeat, self-demolition,
and self-defacing. Stop
stabbing myself in the vulnerable gut

in remorse, guilt, grief and regret
at what I could not
control or plan or shape.

Melt that sword
into the ploughshare
that carves the furrows

into which I place
the seeds I have been holding back.
Let forgiveness

flood the field,
let love shine upon them,
let the earth be fertile and loam-rich

and bountiful harvest my just reward.
After all the lifetimes
of all the dark and light alike

let my new life
result from a conscious new choice:
to put down the sword.

No more self-blame
self-criticism or self-judging,
no more crimson shame,

no more self-harsh words,
no more self-unkindness,
no more self-disrespect,

or screaming at myself
at perceived imperfections
or unbearable failings.

Only forgiveness
to the bone of things
to the bottom and top of memory,

forgiveness heaped
on forgiveness, eaten
at a great feast of forgiveness.

And when sated,
love as dessert and
as the main course ever after.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2009

Does this feel at all familiar to you?

Listen to more video poems from “Frazzle”

“Driving I-55” from “Frazzle”

One original intention for my book, “Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing,” was to be a lifeboat through hard times. I know many people who are struggling right now. With this in mind, I began making videos reading a poem a day, starting at the beginning of the book. This was something I could do to maybe reach out and help someone…including me. (Most of the poems are less than 2 minutes.)

So…for a very different scene from the winter storm passing through the Midwest today, give a listen to Poem 11, “Driving I-55”: https://youtu.be/IAcL0uxpXxk

What’s going on with you today?

Listen to more video poems from “Frazzle”

“Inspired by Something Partly Heard on the Radio” from “Frazzle”

Daily process for recording:
I wait until the house is settled for the night and the kitchen is tidied up. My husband goes to bed early and I set up my camera tripod next to our old maple kitchen table. Precariously I prop up my iPhone with a folded towel underneath to catch it if it falls. I turn on extra lights to chase the shadows and close the blinds to eliminate glare. After a few practice runs I take a deep breath and record. Originally I had a rule I had to get it in one take, but that puts unwanted pressure on me…and I was making up the rules in any case. If I am going to do this project (over a year’s worth of video-poems, one per day) it has to be relatively easy. I am learning as I go along. (Before this I had never made a video using my phone except by accident.)

Just like life, right? Show up every day. Do my best in the moment. Freely give the gifts I have to offer. Receive the love that comes to me. Heal as best I can, myself and all around me. “Start where I am. Use what I have, Do what I can.” (Arthur Ashe)

A good example of that was a concert we attended tonight by Joe Crookston, gifted singer-songwriter, performer, painter, etc. A man both intensely curious and willing to risk. A Chicago area snow storm was blowing outside and he stood calm in a beautiful temple, in front of vivid floor-to-ceiling, stained-glass windows. Next to him was his shadow on the wall, singing along. He opened us up with his songs and stories, his humor and humanness, and his invitation to sing as well. The time flew by and we all went back out into the storm uplifted. Truly, he is a healer. I am most grateful.

What has inspired you lately?

Poem 10 from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing: https://youtu.be/mDB8ioZKQcQ

Listen to more video poems from “Frazzle”

“Knowing What I Know…” from “Frazzle”

My husband Stephen and I met in college in January of 1972. I was 19 and he was 7 months older. We are no longer those people, who after becoming friends, fell in love that first summer and got married (once I graduated). We’ve changed over and over in 42 years of marriage. Often change is not in sync. It’s like that Bruce Springsteen song, “And if I fall behind, wait for me…” But we’ve been determined and worked through it all…to stay together.

Tonight we went to a powerfully moving recital by opera singer, Joyce Didonato. She continues to be a big inspiration for me to be fearless (including doing this video series). Because I wanted to see her, Stephen encouraged me to get the tickets. He found a lovely new sushi restaurant in Chicago and we made it through traffic to get parked and into the performance in good time, a feat in itself. Stephen liked it. I loved it, even tearing up by her last encore.

That’s one thing that’s kept us close. We each bring something different to the relationship. We’re willing to try something new. And we support each other. I am most grateful. What relationships are you grateful for?

Here is Poem 9 from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing: https://youtu.be/VLhrqr0rk6k

Listen to more video poems from “Frazzle”